5 Easy Ways to Regain Your Emotional Balance

These days, what’s happening in the world can have you on an emotional roller-coaster. I want to assure you that you’re not alone, and also to offer 5 simple ways to regain your emotional balance.

Photo by blueberry Maki on Unsplash
  1. Breathe. Super basic, right? Except I am talking about that mindful, purposefully deep, breath. Try it! Breathe deeply in through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then blow out slowly and completely through your mouth. Repeat two to three times and notice how much calmer you feel.
  2. Feel your feelings. No matter how messy they are, give yourself permission to feel them. It’s natural to want to bottle up emotions to “deal with later”, but you must feel them to get beyond them. Think of them like a train approaching, getting closer, right in front of you in all of its intensity and power, then speeding away down the tracks into memory.
  3. Tell yourself “of course I felt that way”. Validating your own feelings can help you move on from them. This is about being accepting, so skip trying to minimize them or talk yourself out of them.
  4. Remind yourself that in this moment you are safe. You may even piggy-back this one onto the deep breathing like a mantra. Your fight, flight or freeze reaction will respond to your conscious self-talk that everything really is ok right in this moment.
  5. Notice the things around you. Appreciate the sky, a tree, fresh smells, anything about your surroundings. This will bring you out of your head and into the present moment.

Remember that you are in charge of how you feel. Taking a few moments to choose how to feel puts you back in charge so you can focus on being your best self!

Looking for more tips on managing being an empath or intuitive? Register for a free webinar on April 9, 2020 here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/free-empowerment-for-empaths-and-intuitives-tickets-101576457920

Signs You’re an Empath/Intuitive

Here are some signs you are an empath/intuitive:

  • You feel the emotions of others.
    When you’re with someone, even a perfect stranger, you know how they’re feeling even before they say a word. This means that you may feel sad, panicked, excited, etc. for absolutely no reason at all.  You may notice this more strongly with some people than with others.
  • You can feel the physical aches and pains of others.
    You may notice a soreness or pain without having any reason for feeling it- then you hear a close friend is suffering from the same discomfort.  
  • Strangers open up to you about their lives.  Often with far more detail than you bargained for and within moments of meeting you.
  • You are the go-to person for advice and emotional support in every friend group. You often wonder how that happened.
  • You feel overwhelmed or exhausted from being in large groups of people. Being around a hoard of people experiencing a wide range of emotions in a confined space quickly produces sensory overload.  Maybe you routinely avoid or dread shopping on the weekend or before a holiday.  Alternatively, being at a live performance will create a positive contact high like none other. All of that intense excitement and anticipation can be wonderful!
  • You need your alone time, desperately. Feeling or being aware of the emotions and pains of others is draining, so you need to spend time alone to refuel.  The need for self-care and down-time is greater than for most people, even for extroverted empaths.
  • You are easily moved to tears, even by fictional tv, books, or movies. Since your ability to relate to people is so strong, it’s easy to get sucked in to the emotionally charged situations of fictional characters. Even those on commercials. Raise your hand if you cry easily at commercials, I see you.
  • You are easily overstimulated by multiple sources of information, sound, lights, etc. You may have noticed that you are more bothered by such things than others. You can chalk this up to being highly sensitive.
  • You tend to want to retreat rather than expose yourself to the onslaught of emotions in the public. You have a core group of safe friends and limit contact with others who have “loud” or intense emotions.
  • You know what someone is about to tell you before they say it. Being tuned in to emotions means you are also likely tuned in to thoughts people are formulating, as they are the dominant thoughts of the moment. You’re not weird, you’re empathic/intuitive.
  • You call people and they say “I was just thinking about you.” Thoughts are energy, and energy isn’t limited by distance. See above.
  • You may refer to yourself as clumsy. This is common enough that I’m including it here. Often out of self-protection, you may spend much of your time un-grounded, or somewhat disconnected to your body. This limits your ability to relate well to the physical world around you, which leads to tripping and bumping into things.  The bruises on me recognize and honor the bruises on you. 

So now that you know you’re an empath/intuitive, (you see now how those words describe the same characteristics, right?) what are you going to do?  This is where many people will begin to tell you ways to protect yourself by erecting a virtual wall, creating a bubble, or setting up other barriers to keep the emotions of others at bay. Well, I’m not going to tell you any of that. I’m going to tell you it’s a super power!

A Super Power?

Here at the Divine Energy Collaborative, we know that feeling like you need to protect yourself comes from a place of fear, and that doesn’t give you power, it takes it away. Blocking yourself off may keep you from feeling other people’s stuff, but it also isolates you and limits your ability to feel all of the wonderful emotions as well. Our perspective is that by opening yourself up to the never-ending flow of divine love and light, you remain fully filled to overflowing. With love and light flowing freely out from you, it’s impossible for any negative emotions to stick to you or cause discomfort, and any who need love will find it without taking anything from you. 

We’re all connected, and these connections to each other are vital, now more than ever.  Instead of closing yourself off in fear of how the intense outside emotions will impact you, try opening yourself up to divine love and letting it overflow.  In this way you can walk in confidence and ease and never worry about whether your “shield” is strong enough. Love conquers all.

Once you are filled to overflowing with divine love, it then benefits everyone you come in contact with, and even those you never see. In this way, you can make a positive impact on the world, everyday. I definitely classify this is a super power!!

Interested in more ways to step into your power as an empath? Join us for Empowerment for Empaths and Intuitives. A twice monthly online group to celebrate, manage, and magnify your gifts. Here is a list about how to have more ease as an empath/intuitive that you might want to share with those you love.

Releasing What No Longer Serves

I love fall in New England! I love the colors, the crisp air, the intense blue skies, and the crunch of leaves on the ground.

We talk a lot about the need to release things that no longer serve you. Autumn is a perfect reminder to let go.

The trees need to release their leaves in order to safely survive the winter. This happens annually because letting things go is not a “one and done” kind of exercise. It reoccurs as different things pop up. I used to think once I had released old feelings or patterns of reacting, they would no longer effect my life.

Oh boy, how wrong I was! Take my eating habits (please!) Years ago I realized that some of my eating patterns are from my childhood, and I set out to leave those behaviors behind. Recently I’ve realized that I’ve been letting my 5 year old self make food choices for adult me, and have been taking back the reins. Each time I understand a new facet of how my past is influencing my present, I deal with it.

Old stuff is buried in many spots and each one surfaces under different circumstances. I admit, it’s frustrating to have to wrestle with something I thought I had gotten rid of, but it’s always worth it to release another part into the earth. Just like with leaves, the earth takes old energy and transforms it into something beautiful. This season be like the trees and let that old, unwanted stuff go (again, if necessary!)

Overwhelm and Anxiety

Feeling overwhelmed and anxious is a pretty common complaint these days. Even a short time out in public spaces or listening to the news can be quite distressing.

Here is a process of focusing your awareness that you can do in just a few minutes nearly anywhere except driving.

1. Focus your attention on one body part at a time and really feel the surfaces that are touching you- clothing, seat, floor.

2. Notice the temperature of the air on your exposed skin, sense the darkness or light with your eyes closed.

3. Now expand your awareness to your energy that is outside the confines of your body- your aura. Feel how large it is and what it passes through or comes to rest against.

4. Now enjoy feeling yourself taking up all of this space, both physically and energetically. Stamp your feet and revel in your own solidity.

5. Take a few deep, slow breaths with your hands on your hips and your feet spread wide as you become accustomed to this expanded way of being.

From this place of confidence and self-awareness you can let love and compassion for others flow effortlessly out of you and towards everyone around you, without judgement or restriction. Practicing self-love and self-care in this way makes you more capable of helping others. It also makes you less likely to feel overwhelmed and more in control of your own emotions.

This is not intended to dismiss or minimize the issues of anyone dealing with panic attacks, depression, or severe anxiety disorder. It is aimed at those who are looking for a new tool to deal with situational anxiety.

It is also a terrific way of realizing your power to effect change in the world by sending out love. This is an active endeavor that can decrease your sense of helplessness with all that is going on around the globe.

Here is a fantastic talk on standing in your power by Amy Cuddy

Navigating Life As An Empath

Last night we had the privilege of holding an Empath Support Group at Uplifting Connections in Bridgewater at the generous invitation of the owners, Kellie and Jon Hailey.  14 empaths gathered to share concerns and questions as well as stories of challenges and triumphs. Questions were sometimes answered from our experiences but often channeled directly from Spirit. We are fully supported in our quest to live comfortable and meaningful lives!! Those in attendance ranged in age from recent graduates to retirees and were all relieved to see recognition and understanding on the other faces in the group as they spoke of experiences many in their lives had deemed somehow wrong or unacceptable.

Each time we hold one of these groups there is a common theme or thread that runs through the evening. Last night’s theme was personal emotional safety and coping with the extra feelings of those around you. Several important tools were shared including staying grounded and practicing good self-care. Among the specific coping mechanisms that were shared, many talked about spending time outside, being in or near water, using deep breathing, prayer and crystals. One of the more unique practices was to write the unwanted emotions down and then to shred the paper while deliberately releasing the emotions as it shredded. I have a feeling there will be some busy shredders in the upcoming weeks!  A full list of all of these tried and true suggestions was created and it may be found here.

One final thought that is important enough to repeat here- we are all connected- how that shows up in our lives differs but we should always try to react to another with compassion and from a place of love. Whether you know who those “extra” emotions belong to or not, sending out love and light is a powerful and empowering tool that will help keep you safe, aid those you are sensing and help you release those emotions that don’t belong to you.

Spirit retreat 2016 Puerto Vallarta sunset from the boardwalk of the city

Affirmations

An affirmation is a word or words that will bolster your confidence, solidify your resolve and encourage you to take the next step no matter how daunting. something to keep you moving forward.

Here’s a perfect example: once our 7 year old neighbor was dropped off by the school bus and no one was home to meet him. He came to our door and we could hear him repeating to himself “Be brave, just be brave” until he knocked on our door to ask for help. Now I’m fairly certain no one coached him to do that, he just knew that he needed support and to get that he needed to overcome his shyness. Giving himself a dose of a confidence-boosting affirmation was just the ticket. He was only out there a few moments before he knocked.

Affirmations are a way to use our conscious mind to alter the deep-seated beliefs and behaviors. This can be a part of your daily self-care and a gentle way to show yourself love. The ones that work the best are those that target the real issue that is slowing you down. I believe it is more effective to focus on just a few (one to three max). It is critical to choose affirmations that are stated in the present and in the positive voice i.e. “I am fearless.”

Do something with me, try these phrases on for size by saying them out loud: I am enough; I am strong; I am worthy; I am accomplished; I am beautiful; I am lovable; I am powerful; I trust my instincts; I embrace change; I welcome challenges; I am capable; I love myself; I am successful. The one or ones that are the most difficult for you to say with truth and conviction may be where you want to begin your daily affirmation ritual.  

Say it out loud at least a few times per day. Affirmations aren’t going to change how you feel immediately but rather over time- you say it and think it with your conscious mind until your subconscious aligns. Soon you begin making decisions and taking actions as if it were true until your words, actions and feelings about that affirmation all line up!