Why Is This Still Coming Up?

“I can’t believe I’m doing this again! After all the work I’ve done around abundance, why are my worries about lack still coming up?!”

Have you had this or a similar thought about something you’ve worked really hard on over your lifetime and felt blindsided by it coming up again? I sure have! In fact, that quote was a conversation I had with myself recently.

It can be about lack, worthiness, being good enough, getting it wrong, or any number of things. Unfortunately, the things we work on don’t magically resolve permanently, but instead gradually diminish in their power over time. Diminishing the power of an old story requires that we replace those old stories with meaningful alternatives that support the narrative we WANT for our life. That takes focused and persistent effort. 

I have spent many years on personal development and part of that has focused on discovering how I came up with the story that there wasn’t enough (of anything) in my life. Having trained myself to SEE abundance everywhere, I can use that to reassure myself that it’s there for me as well as others. I’m now at a point where MOST of the time I feel that my life is abundant. I recognize that’s a huge win! Still, every once in a while I hit a snag, and I revert to the old story.

While at times it can be frustrating, I’ve learned not to beat myself up when I revert to old patterns because I know how the story of ‘not enough’ shows up for me: feeling like normal things are too risky, like I’m not doing enough, like there isn’t enough time, like things I want/need are too expensive. Now, I can catch those feelings before they take over and deal with them quickly. Usually all I need to do is provide reassurance to my inner child that I can manage things, and I’m once again enjoying the freedom of feeling abundant. 

Worries are normal! They only become problematic when they take over and derail your efforts towards your dreams and goals.

All of the negative little voices in our heads have one thing in common, they use fear to undercut our motivation to go after our dreams. Those little voices love to whisper that everything would be safer if we never stepped outside of our comfort zone. They tell us we can’t or shouldn’t follow our dreams and provide a myriad of reasons why not.

One glaring fault in that subconscious ‘logic’ is that everything we want that we don’t already have involves doing something we’ve never done to get there. The unknown is risky and that negative little voice hates risk of any kind. Those subconscious thoughts present the anti-motivational speech in whatever ways most concern you.

No matter what your inner fears are, your subconscious is a master at using those to try to keep you playing small and comfortable.  Fear keeps you in your predictable, known little world where it’s relatively ‘safe’.  We know however, that those fears aren’t true! Your subconscious lies, and you deserve to go after what you want in a way that brings you joy!

As good as our subconscious is at derailing us, the amazing news is that you can also train it to work with you towards your goals instead of against you. Life-changing!!

That can be accomplished in many ways and they all take varying amounts of time. Amy and I are impatient, so when we came across a way to fast-track that process, we were pretty excited. We used this process on ourselves and realized that by essentially blowing up the old beliefs and rebuilding them from the ground up, it saves a ton of time and effort.  This process tackles most of the main roadblocks to personal peace and professional success ALL AT ONCE! The changes we saw in our lives were nearly immediate and definitely impactful.

It is so powerful, we want to share it with anyone who is ready to uncover their old stories and make big changes in a short time. If you’re ready to blast away your limiting beliefs and see incredible shifts in how you show up in the world and feel about yourself, then we want that for you too!

This process isn’t for the faint-of-heart and yes, it can be really intense. That might be unsettling for some people. Know that you are in charge of how deep into your own subconscious you go, what you discover, and exactly what you decide to do with that information. We provide and hold the space, offer the tools for unlocking your subconscious, and give you the guidance to explore and shift what’s holding you back; but you are actually in control of every step of that journey.

Women are changing the world, and women entrepreneurs are at the leading edge of that change. You need excellent support to be the instrument of change you want to be for all of the people you come in contact with daily!

So, want a taste of what this process looks like?! We ma de a FREE 2 hour zoom offering so that you can experience how it works and feel the possibility of change.  Here’s a free opportunity for you to connect deeply with your subconscious, clear out some clutter, and create space for new possibilities.  

Don’t miss the FREE Divine Diva Mini Experience on Feb. 2, 204 from 7:30-9:30 pm EST. Sign up here!!!!.

P.S. Transformation tends to be easier when the people we love join us on the journey. Don’t forget to invite a friend so you can have the experience together. I promise you won’t regret it!!!

P.P.S. If you already know you’re ready to jump in with both feet, we created the Divine Diva Discovery Program as a completely immersive, transformational experience for a small group of change-making women.  We provide the sacred and safe container, you find your wings and soar.  You can sign-up here.

End of the Year Reflections

We’re big fans of reflection at the end of the year. It’s important to take the time to reflect on where you are, where you were, and where you’d like to go as you head into the New Year. As the world continues to rotate, we head deep into winter and a time of contemplation. As we change over the calendar, the year’s end is a natural time to take note of endings and beginnings. This is also the time when many people set their goals for next year, and while that can be productive, it can also be stressful. Here are five things to keep in mind to have the best year-end wrap up:

  1. Do not take out the beat-up stick: This is a time for you to look at your journey with kindness and grace. Punishment and self-loathing are never good motivators. Don’t use them on yourself!
  2. Ignore the media: There are so many gimmicks during this time of year that claim to have quick-fix, silver bullet answers. Don’t fall for it. There’s no such thing as a silver bullet and the best evolution comes from you finding your own answers from within!
  3.  Dare greatly: Don’t sell yourself and your vision short this year. Imagine you have your own personal GPS and plug in a destination. CHOOSE. You’ll never move forward in any direction if you don’t know where you’re going. Important note: if you head out on your route and decide it’s not right for you, choose again! Course correcting is important and is always encouraged.
  4. Don’t rely on magical thinking: Manifestation does not = sitting in a room thinking happy thoughts and then doing nothing to move yourself towards your vision. Manifestation = intention + attention + action! The action part is important. Don’t let anybody else tell you otherwise. This is the true formula for success.
  5. Keep up your energy: Be mindful of your energy levels. Do what makes you feel good. It’s easy to make choices that are not in alignment with your vision when you’re depleted and don’t take care of yourself. Find what it is that keeps your vibration high and keep doing it. It’s really hard to put your intention, attention, and action towards something consistently if you’re not taking care of yourself.

We hope this quick list helps anchor you to a very happy, healthy, and prosperous new year.

With love and light,

Amy and Kristi

Where Are You Holding Back?

The time is now, restraint is in the rear-view mirror!

To say that everything is transforming feels like an understatement. The word transformation doesn’t quite match the magnitude of what we’re shattering and rebuilding. Metamorphosis is better….although, not quite. In addition to all the shake-ups at the Divine Energy Collaborative, we’re writing another book! This is the first we’ve told anybody about it and we’re not even close to finished. We’ve discovered with this book that we’re not allowed to continue writing until we really dig deep and work through the concepts Spirit is presenting. It’s almost like a spiritual guidebook and a memoire, everything you will eventually read, we’ve tackled head-on. It doesn’t get put to paper unless we’ve worked through the concepts ourselves!

In the meantime, we were instructed to share this this quote with you:

“You belong to this earth as much as you belong to the energy of the universe. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone to gain admittance.” 

This quote struck us like a lightning bolt. We see people repeatedly stop themselves short because they feel like they don’t belong, that they don’t have what it takes, that they’re not possibly smart enough, important enough, good enough, simply enough, to go after exactly what it is they desire in their lives. They sell themselves short because in their minds they couldn’t possibly be the person capable of delivering. These stories run deep, especially for women, and many times they don’t even allow themselves to feel the true extent of their desires because they have no faith in the possibility. So, we shut ourselves off, we shut ourselves down, and we hide. The result? We perpetually remain small.

What would it look like if you truly felt the unconditional love of source energy, if you truly felt like you belonged? What would you say? What would you do? Where would your dreams lead you? We know you have dreams, but what if your dreams could be magnified to reflect your heart’s truest desire? A true symphony of your soul projected from your consciousness out into the world? Where would you be then?

Our goal is for every woman to feel the unconditional love of source energy, to help people magnify their innate connection, to show people that they do belong, and that they are the ultimate source of creation. Everything we do moving forward is going to be in that vein and we’re really excited about the journey! 

Our first event in 2024 is our Divine Diva Discovery Workshop. This weekend-intensive is specifically designed for women who are seeking to step into their brilliance and own their power and role in the universe. During our time together, we create a sacred container that magnifies your connection to self and source, deepens your sense of openness and belonging, and removes internal blocks to allow the infinite to unfold. We’re looking to shake things up and awaken everyone along the way!!! 

This weekend is limited to 10 people!!! If you’re ready to step into the Divine and magnify your true potential click the link below to save your seat!!!!


This event WILL SELL OUT!!! Early bird pricing is available now until Jan. 1st! Use the code EARLYBIRD to save $164!!!

For more information on this incredible opportunity, check it out here!

Stop Taking Poison Expecting Other People to Suffer

For me, one of the most challenging parts of being in relationship with others is that you have to let them take their journey for themselves. Regardless of what I may think, I have no control over how they react, what they say, how they process, or how they move forward, NONE.  My thoughts on someone else’s life are completely irrelevant.  This has come up for me recently in the context of forgiveness.  Specifically, when conflict arises how does one truly forgive and move forward?

Nobody is immune from conflict with others.  Conflicts come in many forms and in many different types of relationships.  Whether it’s a child, parent, teacher, boss, lover, etc. you’re going to deal with conflict at some point in your life.  What makes conflict particularly challenging is that you have zero control over another’s engagement and whether you will receive an apology.  The best part? You get to decide whether you require an apology and what that actually means to you.  Aren’t relationships fun?! YAY! Haha.

Throughout the years, in many of my relationships, I’ve struggled with whether an apology is required in order for me to find peace and forgive them.  I’ve played this game both ways, I’ve had a direct conversation with the individual and I’ve also played along with the other party as though nothing’s happened.  My preference is being direct and that has always led to the best outcome for me.  I feel out-of-sorts when I can’t confront things head on.  But what happens if the other party doesn’t want to participate? What if you reach out and get crickets? What then? Does it matter? Do you simply bury your head in the sand and decide to stay angry or bury your feelings and play along as if nothing happened?

Suprisingly, the other party’s participation is completely irrelevant to which path you choose!  If you’re feeling wronged, you must first identify what you’re truly feeling and why you are feeling that way.  From there, you have a choice. Are you going to let your aggrieved feelings take away your peace or are you going to reach for a better feeling emotion?  Although a common knee-jerk reaction may be to request an apology and wait for one, you must decide what you’re going to do if one is never coming.  Spoiler alert, staying angry is not the answer!

It may feel counterintuitive, but when you choose anger over forgiveness, YOU are the only person that truly suffers.  Staying in anger allows others to occupy your mind space and it results in you giving away your power.  Keep beating the drum of anger, you’re going to get more anger! There’s a huge price that you pay for that.  It’s akin to taking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.    

So how do you find peace in conflict? You must clear the emotional space that has been taken up within you.  You must face your emotions on your own despite the other party’s involvement.  After you ask yourself what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way, attempt to describe the situation in a neutral manner. Can you write about it devoid of emotion? Can you tell somebody without inflammatory language? No? Okay, you’ve got more work to do.  Kick and scream a little more and then try again.  You must get yourself to the point where you can describe the event as neutral.  From there, the real healing can begin.

I have a step-by-step process that I’ve used to clear some major conflicts in my life.  It starts with a willingness within me to feel less angry and a desire to regain my peace.  While it’s not possible to outline the entire process here, above is an excellent starting point!  If any of this resonates with you, I also have an invitation for you to get you further along in your healing journey.

On December 7th, from 7:30-8:30 pm Kristi and I are offering a FREE virtual Divine Diva Mini-Experience.  This channeled immersive art experience can facilitate you getting to the place where you’re willing to release any stuck emotions buried within.  From there, you choose how to move forward, and you can take your next steps with greater clarity and an anchoring to the Divine.  Please join us in opening your heart, filling you with light, and safely and gently removing your roadblocks.  If you’re ready to start bringing your life to the next level head-on, this event is for you!  

This event will not be recorded.  Please click here to RSVP.  We hope to see you there!   

With love and light,


Take Up Space

Today, we’re talking about taking up space. What does taking up space actually mean? Why is it important? How can you take up space?

For us, taking up space means to be fully embodied.  It means that you are present, you are grounded, you are showing up as your full and true authentic self; bold, beautiful, courageous, and full of life-force energy.  When you take up space you are saying that you are worthy: worthy of being; worthy of being seen; and worthy of your thoughts, feelings, wishes, and needs.  It is a way of honoring yourself to take up space and show up in your full light.  When you are fully embodied you are harnessing your divine power and honoring your oneness with the universe.


For many, taking up space is difficult.  It can feel incredibly vulnerable.  Showing up every day in your strength and wholeness is not an exercise many are familiar with.  As women especially, we are taught from an early age to dim our light. Many are preconditioned to not be an inconvenience, to not tell those around us what we need, to minimize our wants and desires.  For centuries, we’ve been expected to hide, play small, and let the men take the lead.  This programming has caused the idea of taking up space so uncomfortable.  We have literally been conditioned to hide our thoughts and desires!


Power pose taking up space


So, what happens when we hide?  When we hide, when we diminish our needs, dim our light, and create death and turmoil inside of us. We plague ourselves with doubt, worry, anxiety, and dis-ease.  When we hide our true nature and our passions, we remain in conflict with ourself and our divinity and we start to slowly kill ourselves from the inside out.  When we hide, we remain within and we wither away.    Each day that you do not express your wishes, needs, and desires, you are affirming that you are unworthy. You are subconsciously telling yourself that you are less than, and that you are not deserving.  But why? Why would we do this to ourselves?

In addition to societal conditioning, there are many driving forces that keep us small.  Fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, fear of judgment, and even fear of success. The infinite inner-stories and tapes that we play repeatedly to ourselves keep us from living a fully embodied life.  The fear of rejection and the worry of the “what-ifs” cause us to withhold our truth and can even stop people from having truly authentic relationships. You’ve likely been withholding in so many areas of your life, you’re not even aware that you’re doing it!    

So, how do we fix it?  Step one, start telling people how you’re feeling and what you need! Seriously. Every day.  You have needs and emotions, tell someone! By sharing your thoughts and your needs you are showing up for yourself. The more you show up for yourself the more you train your subconscious that you are worthy of a truly spectacular life. It’s that easy!!!

Start small! “I need a drink of water.” “Can you please pick up the groceries?” “I’m feeling sad today, what would really help me is my book and my blanket.”  It doesn’t matter what you need, YOU JUST NEED YOU TO TELL SOMEONE!!!! And then, you’re going to stand in receiving! More on receiving another day.  😉

Living a fully embodied life = showing up for yourself by telling others your thoughts, needs, and emotions.

Yes, it seems crazy, but start to pay attention to yourself as you go throughout your day. How many times a day do you cut yourself short?  How often do you diminish your desires? How often are you keeping your thoughts and emotions within?

Our goal is to get you back in touch with your infinite self and allow you to take up all of the space in the world.  We want to celebrate you, honor you, and to make sure you’re seen!!!

Everyone needs help along the way.  We’re lucky enough that we have each other through our ups-and-downs and throughout our spiritual expansion.  Now, we want to offer that same sort of support to you!

Please join us on Dec 7th at 7:30 pm for our FREE virtual Divine Diva Mini Experience!!! 

In this immersive experience, you will start to see the path towards a fully embodied life. This workshop is designed to ignite your inner feminine for unapologetic expansion in your business, relationships, mindset, emotions.  

Click Here for more information and to reserve your FREE seat!

P.S. There will be a fabulous free gift at the end of the zoom call that you WON’T want to miss!!

Magic happens when women lift each other up, act as mirrors to the light and shadow, and hold each other accountable for living intentionally, powerfully, exceptionally!

We look forward to seeing you soon!

With love and light,

Amy and Kristi

Self-Care as Service

There is quite the controversy about whether self-care is selfish or essential. Some people say that by being focused on oneself, the needs of the world are ignored. We are solidly on the “it’s essential” side! In fact we believe it’s not only essential for you, it’s essential for the world and that taking care of yourself is an act of service to the world. The world needs you to care enough about how you feel to take the time to feel good.

Slowing down enough to notice the beauty all around you is one aspect of self-care. It doesn’t have to be spa days and shopping sprees, and in fact it may be the small moments you take for yourself that have the greatest impact on your peace of mind- and your affect on the world.

Take a look at the photo of the flowers and consider how their beauty is magnified by their reflection in the mirror.
How we feel is mirrored back to us in the world. How? Well you know that interacting with a short-tempered check-out person or customer service rep can dampen your day, but a cheerful delivery person can make you smile, right?

How you feel affects others the same way. If you show up to your meeting feeling calm, focused, and optimistic you shine that good energy over everyone in the room and things get accomplished. After the meeting each person takes that productive, positive attitude into their interactions, and so that good vibe spreads. Now imagine if you arrived rushed, scattered, and frustrated instead. That would create a completely different result, right?

This is where daily (yes, daily!) self-care comes in. It all begins with you deciding how you want to feel and what you want the day to look like. Scheduling some quiet time to set your intentions for the day can affect not only your experience, but the entire outcome. Deliberately creating a goal for how your day will feel and flow, you take control of how you show up for everything on your schedule. This puts you in the right frame of mind to have it all happen just as you envisioned it.

You may be thinking “great, but life happens, and no matter how good my intentions are, I can’t control the world,” and you’re right. Things happen, and we’re thrown off track. That’s normal and perfectly ok! The way to deal with this is to add in mindful breaks to take a few deep breaths and find something to be grateful for whenever you feel yourself losing focus or getting irritated. Try scheduling a few breaks into your day so you center yourself before those feelings arise. Just taking those few moments can act as a reset to bring you back to your initial intentions. This keeps your day on track and you in control of putting your best self out in to the world.

We know that when life is so busy that you’re basically in survival mode 24/7, just taking time to set intentions can be out of reach. So consider what kind of activities help you feel re-charged so you can bring that kind of mindfulness into your everyday life. Walking, reading, meditating, napping, visiting with friends, cooking, relaxing with family, laughing over a silly movie? Does fitting any of these things into your life feel impossible? Maybe it’s time to ask your support system for a little, well, support.

Look back at your last 4 weeks and see how often you did the things that fill you up. If you haven’t been doing at least one thing that fills you up every week, it’s time to put it in your calendar for next month. and if you are doing something once a week, consider adding in one or even two (gasp) more opportunities weekly to fill your cup over the next month. Over time, you’ll find the magic formula for you, and you’ll know you did it when you feel like you’re bringing your best, mindful self to every day.

When you take care of yourself, you have enough bandwidth to show up as your best self for your family, friends, colleagues, and clients. When you operate on a fully charged battery everything goes more smoothly, you can roll with the unexpected, and life just feels more enjoyable.

Even better than that, the world reflects that back to you. Everyone can agree that the world could use more peace, joy and positivity, right?
The world needs you to bring it, so take care of yourself first- it isn’t selfish, it’s the most generous act of service you could do.

If you’d like to talk about getting more support for your emotional well-being, we’re here for that. Let’s talk. Schedule your free call here.

10 Ways to Up Your Self Care Game

I’ve been thinking about self-care quite a bit these days. I’ve been noticing the different ways people interpret that, how it can look, and what happens when it’s missing.

Some people think self-care means personal indulgences like an entire spa day, extravagant meal, or a pricey vacation. While those things are lovely, I ultimately consider them “special treats” or “rewards”.  Of course, everyone is worthy of a special experience, but rewards are very different than self-care.  Understanding this distinction will allow you to flourish and will prevent you from running yourself ragged. 

Each of us deserves to be nurtured, loved, and tended to with compassion and grace.  You must nurture yourself like a devoted parent takes care of a precious child; love is always present no matter how that child behaves.

Some believe that they are only deserving of self-care when they meet their own self-imposed expectations or expectations imposed upon them by family, friends or even society. If they’ve fallen short, they withhold self-care believing they don’t deserve it. This could not be further from the truth.  

We owe ourselves unconditional, consistent, loving care on a daily basis. No matter what. Below are some ideas to up your self-care game:

  1. Get enough sleep! Plan, prepare, and execute to get yourself to bed at a reasonable hour.  Your body will thank you!
  2. Move your body in pleasing ways.
  3. Drink enough water (yes, I said it!).
  4. Eat sufficient yummy, nutrient-dense foods.
  5. Get a regular massage.
  6. Schedule yourself quiet time. This can include time to think, read, journal, create, and even breathe.
  7. Connect with your favorite people.
  8. Cut out the negativity. Be mindful about what you watch/listen to/read regarding current events.
  9. Lotion your entire body after your shower.
  10. Switch from a shower to a bath. Use this as a chance to cleanse your body, mind, and soul.

The list could go on and on. Give yourself the benefit of your own innate wisdom and ask yourself how you long to be cared for, then implement those things with intention and consistency.

What happens if you aren’t taking care of yourself? Well, if you’ve read this far, I bet you can answer that very easily. Perhaps you feel out of sorts, cranky, moody, depleted, adrift, alone, resentful, maybe even abandoned. You might have headaches, stiffness, body pain. Maybe your digestion is off and you are struggling to find foods that appeal to you. It’s likely that your focus and productivity are suffering, you might be frequently overwhelmed and/or anxious, even easily angered.

If any of those are true for you, don’t wait! Ask yourself what you need to feel cherished and provide that for yourself. There’s no time like the present and no one more deserving than you!

If you would like support in taking loving care of yourself and to regain your sense of peace and pleasure with life, schedule a discovery call here: https://bit.ly/3js1kfs

Life Is In The Contrast

This past month has been filled with contrast here in New England. Scorching hot, bright, sunny days followed by chilly, dim, and rainy stretches. Pollen-filled air so thick that breathing felt hazardous, interspersed with clear, dry air sweet with the scents of summer.

Maybe you long for predictability in all things- including the weather, and not knowing what’s coming has you feeling unsettled, frustrated, or even afraid. Perhaps you are easily agitated when things don’t go your way, and spend time worrying about what could go wrong. How can we embrace the seemingly uncontrollable variety of life and instead see it as something to be noticed and dare I say-enjoyed? Let me reframe contrast for you as something to be relished, appreciated, and even celebrated.

Contrast is most observable in the extremes. Consider the blissful peace that comes after a crying baby has been soothed; or the cozy sensation of putting on warm, dry clothes after hours of being in a wet bathing suit. Once you’re looking for it, you will also see it in more subtle differences like satiated hunger, a smooth road after a construction zone, or the quiet after a jampacked day. When you think about it, we really do like variety. Consider the texture combination of smooth and crunchy, or sweet and salty. It’s the contrast that’s so appealing, isn’t it?

How we interpret change and not knowing what will happen is a choice. We can stew in not knowing what to expect, or get excited to discover what will unfold. For me variety, nuance, and contrast are what excite me about life. It is certainly what inspires me to paint, and it also fuels my days. Having an array of activities planned for the day makes me more willing to leave my comfy bed.

Abraham Hicks speaks often about contrast being the primary way to become clear on what we want. Simply put, once we’ve experienced something we don’t enjoy, we have a greater understanding of what we do want and can therefore steer ourselves in that direction.  The key to navigating towards a desire is to begin talking about the new experience we’d like versus dwelling on undesired past experience. Thinking about our preferred experience aligns us with its vibration and moves it into our reality.

If you struggle to deal with all the unknowns in life or are often aggravated by unwanted circumstances, try a change in your habitual self-talk. This is simple, but not necessarily easy. It takes time to deprogram years of worrying and complaining about what is, so that you may shift into a positive expectation of what could be. Try intentionally and consistently substituting phrases like “what if everything works out great?”, “now, I know what I want”, “it will be fine”, or even “I can handle whatever happens”.  These are simple phrases that can shift you away from your negative narrative.

Choose a positive-outcome phrase to tell yourself when your inner dialogue starts spiraling towards potential disaster. Remember to take a breath and choose again when you feel yourself starting to rant.  The simple act of taking a breath and changing your language will surely bring you towards greater peace. Be curious as you try on different soothing, affirmative things to say to tame your inner drama. Notice how each makes you feel and what it takes to shift your automatic response ever closer to appreciating and embracing the contrast of life!

How to Survive Online Dating as an Empath

3 Ways to Preserve Your Peace

It’s 2021 and dating is still predominately online- at least the initial phases of it anyway, thanks to Covid 19. I know online dating has been around since the mid-90’s, but although I wasn’t single until recently, I still think things have changed over the past year.

The whole aspect of it is very intense, and as a highly sensitive person (HSP), empath, and intuitive, it has some additional challenges. As I navigate through the process, I thought it might be useful to others to share ways I am developing to keep my peace.

One, practicing discernment isn’t the same as judgement. Consider that for a moment and recognize that hitting the “X” isn’t a mark against their goodness. It’s simply exercising an awareness of what aspects of a person are important to you. You are not saying they aren’t a good person, you’re saying they don’t match the qualifications you have decided are essential to you. Even after having communications with them, letting them know that you don’t wish to continue pursuing a relationship needn’t feel as though you’ve dealt them a death blow. You don’t owe them anything other than a polite, respectful, clear, and decisive: “this isn’t going to work for me” or whatever you’ve decided on as a way to say you’re done. Even when they whine, beg or plead that they are really wonderful if you’d just give them a chance. Trust. Your. Instincts.

Two, taking breaks from interacting on the dating apps is important. Giving yourself a specific time window to interact on the apps is a great way to limit the potential for overwhelm. Decision fatigue is real, and it’s especially wearing on empaths since it takes frequent reminders that you can’t choose everyone (obviously, right?), it’s ok to choose “no”, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. Don’t spend more than a few minutes swiping, and set a time for how long you’ll spend communicating with people. Of course once you’ve chosen who to interact with, you need to gain more information to decide whether to continue to communicate or not. It could become a full time job, and since I’m guessing it’s not your job, don’t let it take over your whole life – either in reality, or emotionally. Do other things that bring you joy and remind you that you’re a whole and complete person who doesn’t actually NEED a partner to be happy and fulfilled.

Three, spend time with friends and family who support you. Being around them will remind you of the kind of vibration you’re looking to add to your circle. Look to these healthy relationships for evidence of how you are loved and appreciated exactly as you are, with no need to change anything. Approaching online dating (any relationship really) from a place of abundance, connection, and love is infinitely better than coming from lack and desperation. Practice loving yourself and seeing yourself as those who care for you see you. Be positive, open, and expecting good things and that is what you will find, without fail. Even if it looks different than what you anticipated.

Bottom line, remind yourself of your inherent goodness regularly, continue being kind and considerate, notice when you need to ramp up your self-care, and seek supportive connection with your trusted friends and family. It can be fun if you take it at your own pace.

Good luck out there! I’ll share more tips as they come up.


5 Easy Ways to Regain Your Emotional Balance

These days, what’s happening in the world can have you on an emotional roller-coaster. I want to assure you that you’re not alone, and also to offer 5 simple ways to regain your emotional balance.

Photo by blueberry Maki on Unsplash
  1. Breathe. Super basic, right? Except I am talking about that mindful, purposefully deep, breath. Try it! Breathe deeply in through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then blow out slowly and completely through your mouth. Repeat two to three times and notice how much calmer you feel.
  2. Feel your feelings. No matter how messy they are, give yourself permission to feel them. It’s natural to want to bottle up emotions to “deal with later”, but you must feel them to get beyond them. Think of them like a train approaching, getting closer, right in front of you in all of its intensity and power, then speeding away down the tracks into memory.
  3. Tell yourself “of course I felt that way”. Validating your own feelings can help you move on from them. This is about being accepting, so skip trying to minimize them or talk yourself out of them.
  4. Remind yourself that in this moment you are safe. You may even piggy-back this one onto the deep breathing like a mantra. Your fight, flight or freeze reaction will respond to your conscious self-talk that everything really is ok right in this moment.
  5. Notice the things around you. Appreciate the sky, a tree, fresh smells, anything about your surroundings. This will bring you out of your head and into the present moment.

Remember that you are in charge of how you feel. Taking a few moments to choose how to feel puts you back in charge so you can focus on being your best self!

Looking for more in depth ways to thrive as an empath or intuitive? Book a discovery call to see if coaching is for you!