Self-Care as Service

There is quite the controversy about whether self-care is selfish or essential. Some people say that by being focused on oneself, the needs of the world are ignored. We are solidly on the “it’s essential” side! In fact we believe it’s not only essential for you, it’s essential for the world and that taking care of yourself is an act of service to the world. The world needs you to care enough about how you feel to take the time to feel good.

Slowing down enough to notice the beauty all around you is one aspect of self-care. It doesn’t have to be spa days and shopping sprees, and in fact it may be the small moments you take for yourself that have the greatest impact on your peace of mind- and your affect on the world.

Take a look at the photo of the flowers and consider how their beauty is magnified by their reflection in the mirror.
How we feel is mirrored back to us in the world. How? Well you know that interacting with a short-tempered check-out person or customer service rep can dampen your day, but a cheerful delivery person can make you smile, right?

How you feel affects others the same way. If you show up to your meeting feeling calm, focused, and optimistic you shine that good energy over everyone in the room and things get accomplished. After the meeting each person takes that productive, positive attitude into their interactions, and so that good vibe spreads. Now imagine if you arrived rushed, scattered, and frustrated instead. That would create a completely different result, right?

This is where daily (yes, daily!) self-care comes in. It all begins with you deciding how you want to feel and what you want the day to look like. Scheduling some quiet time to set your intentions for the day can affect not only your experience, but the entire outcome. Deliberately creating a goal for how your day will feel and flow, you take control of how you show up for everything on your schedule. This puts you in the right frame of mind to have it all happen just as you envisioned it.

You may be thinking “great, but life happens, and no matter how good my intentions are, I can’t control the world,” and you’re right. Things happen, and we’re thrown off track. That’s normal and perfectly ok! The way to deal with this is to add in mindful breaks to take a few deep breaths and find something to be grateful for whenever you feel yourself losing focus or getting irritated. Try scheduling a few breaks into your day so you center yourself before those feelings arise. Just taking those few moments can act as a reset to bring you back to your initial intentions. This keeps your day on track and you in control of putting your best self out in to the world.

We know that when life is so busy that you’re basically in survival mode 24/7, just taking time to set intentions can be out of reach. So consider what kind of activities help you feel re-charged so you can bring that kind of mindfulness into your everyday life. Walking, reading, meditating, napping, visiting with friends, cooking, relaxing with family, laughing over a silly movie? Does fitting any of these things into your life feel impossible? Maybe it’s time to ask your support system for a little, well, support.

Look back at your last 4 weeks and see how often you did the things that fill you up. If you haven’t been doing at least one thing that fills you up every week, it’s time to put it in your calendar for next month. and if you are doing something once a week, consider adding in one or even two (gasp) more opportunities weekly to fill your cup over the next month. Over time, you’ll find the magic formula for you, and you’ll know you did it when you feel like you’re bringing your best, mindful self to every day.

When you take care of yourself, you have enough bandwidth to show up as your best self for your family, friends, colleagues, and clients. When you operate on a fully charged battery everything goes more smoothly, you can roll with the unexpected, and life just feels more enjoyable.

Even better than that, the world reflects that back to you. Everyone can agree that the world could use more peace, joy and positivity, right?
The world needs you to bring it, so take care of yourself first- it isn’t selfish, it’s the most generous act of service you could do.

If you’d like to talk about getting more support for your emotional well-being, we’re here for that. Let’s talk. Schedule your free call here.

10 Ways to Up Your Self Care Game

I’ve been thinking about self-care quite a bit these days. I’ve been noticing the different ways people interpret that, how it can look, and what happens when it’s missing.

Some people think self-care means personal indulgences like an entire spa day, extravagant meal, or a pricey vacation. While those things are lovely, I ultimately consider them “special treats” or “rewards”.  Of course, everyone is worthy of a special experience, but rewards are very different than self-care.  Understanding this distinction will allow you to flourish and will prevent you from running yourself ragged. 

Each of us deserves to be nurtured, loved, and tended to with compassion and grace.  You must nurture yourself like a devoted parent takes care of a precious child; love is always present no matter how that child behaves.

Some believe that they are only deserving of self-care when they meet their own self-imposed expectations or expectations imposed upon them by family, friends or even society. If they’ve fallen short, they withhold self-care believing they don’t deserve it. This could not be further from the truth.  

We owe ourselves unconditional, consistent, loving care on a daily basis. No matter what. Below are some ideas to up your self-care game:

  1. Get enough sleep! Plan, prepare, and execute to get yourself to bed at a reasonable hour.  Your body will thank you!
  2. Move your body in pleasing ways.
  3. Drink enough water (yes, I said it!).
  4. Eat sufficient yummy, nutrient-dense foods.
  5. Get a regular massage.
  6. Schedule yourself quiet time. This can include time to think, read, journal, create, and even breathe.
  7. Connect with your favorite people.
  8. Cut out the negativity. Be mindful about what you watch/listen to/read regarding current events.
  9. Lotion your entire body after your shower.
  10. Switch from a shower to a bath. Use this as a chance to cleanse your body, mind, and soul.

The list could go on and on. Give yourself the benefit of your own innate wisdom and ask yourself how you long to be cared for, then implement those things with intention and consistency.

What happens if you aren’t taking care of yourself? Well, if you’ve read this far, I bet you can answer that very easily. Perhaps you feel out of sorts, cranky, moody, depleted, adrift, alone, resentful, maybe even abandoned. You might have headaches, stiffness, body pain. Maybe your digestion is off and you are struggling to find foods that appeal to you. It’s likely that your focus and productivity are suffering, you might be frequently overwhelmed and/or anxious, even easily angered.

If any of those are true for you, don’t wait! Ask yourself what you need to feel cherished and provide that for yourself. There’s no time like the present and no one more deserving than you!

If you would like support in taking loving care of yourself and to regain your sense of peace and pleasure with life, schedule a discovery call here:

Life Is In The Contrast

This past month has been filled with contrast here in New England. Scorching hot, bright, sunny days followed by chilly, dim, and rainy stretches. Pollen-filled air so thick that breathing felt hazardous, interspersed with clear, dry air sweet with the scents of summer.

Maybe you long for predictability in all things- including the weather, and not knowing what’s coming has you feeling unsettled, frustrated, or even afraid. Perhaps you are easily agitated when things don’t go your way, and spend time worrying about what could go wrong. How can we embrace the seemingly uncontrollable variety of life and instead see it as something to be noticed and dare I say-enjoyed? Let me reframe contrast for you as something to be relished, appreciated, and even celebrated.

Contrast is most observable in the extremes. Consider the blissful peace that comes after a crying baby has been soothed; or the cozy sensation of putting on warm, dry clothes after hours of being in a wet bathing suit. Once you’re looking for it, you will also see it in more subtle differences like satiated hunger, a smooth road after a construction zone, or the quiet after a jampacked day. When you think about it, we really do like variety. Consider the texture combination of smooth and crunchy, or sweet and salty. It’s the contrast that’s so appealing, isn’t it?

How we interpret change and not knowing what will happen is a choice. We can stew in not knowing what to expect, or get excited to discover what will unfold. For me variety, nuance, and contrast are what excite me about life. It is certainly what inspires me to paint, and it also fuels my days. Having an array of activities planned for the day makes me more willing to leave my comfy bed.

Abraham Hicks speaks often about contrast being the primary way to become clear on what we want. Simply put, once we’ve experienced something we don’t enjoy, we have a greater understanding of what we do want and can therefore steer ourselves in that direction.  The key to navigating towards a desire is to begin talking about the new experience we’d like versus dwelling on undesired past experience. Thinking about our preferred experience aligns us with its vibration and moves it into our reality.

If you struggle to deal with all the unknowns in life or are often aggravated by unwanted circumstances, try a change in your habitual self-talk. This is simple, but not necessarily easy. It takes time to deprogram years of worrying and complaining about what is, so that you may shift into a positive expectation of what could be. Try intentionally and consistently substituting phrases like “what if everything works out great?”, “now, I know what I want”, “it will be fine”, or even “I can handle whatever happens”.  These are simple phrases that can shift you away from your negative narrative.

Choose a positive-outcome phrase to tell yourself when your inner dialogue starts spiraling towards potential disaster. Remember to take a breath and choose again when you feel yourself starting to rant.  The simple act of taking a breath and changing your language will surely bring you towards greater peace. Be curious as you try on different soothing, affirmative things to say to tame your inner drama. Notice how each makes you feel and what it takes to shift your automatic response ever closer to appreciating and embracing the contrast of life!

How to Survive Online Dating as an Empath

3 Ways to Preserve Your Peace

It’s 2021 and dating is still predominately online- at least the initial phases of it anyway, thanks to Covid 19. I know online dating has been around since the mid-90’s, but although I wasn’t single until recently, I still think things have changed over the past year.

The whole aspect of it is very intense, and as a highly sensitive person (HSP), empath, and intuitive, it has some additional challenges. As I navigate through the process, I thought it might be useful to others to share ways I am developing to keep my peace.

One, practicing discernment isn’t the same as judgement. Consider that for a moment and recognize that hitting the “X” isn’t a mark against their goodness. It’s simply exercising an awareness of what aspects of a person are important to you. You are not saying they aren’t a good person, you’re saying they don’t match the qualifications you have decided are essential to you. Even after having communications with them, letting them know that you don’t wish to continue pursuing a relationship needn’t feel as though you’ve dealt them a death blow. You don’t owe them anything other than a polite, respectful, clear, and decisive: “this isn’t going to work for me” or whatever you’ve decided on as a way to say you’re done. Even when they whine, beg or plead that they are really wonderful if you’d just give them a chance. Trust. Your. Instincts.

Two, taking breaks from interacting on the dating apps is important. Giving yourself a specific time window to interact on the apps is a great way to limit the potential for overwhelm. Decision fatigue is real, and it’s especially wearing on empaths since it takes frequent reminders that you can’t choose everyone (obviously, right?), it’s ok to choose “no”, and that doesn’t make you a bad person. Don’t spend more than a few minutes swiping, and set a time for how long you’ll spend communicating with people. Of course once you’ve chosen who to interact with, you need to gain more information to decide whether to continue to communicate or not. It could become a full time job, and since I’m guessing it’s not your job, don’t let it take over your whole life – either in reality, or emotionally. Do other things that bring you joy and remind you that you’re a whole and complete person who doesn’t actually NEED a partner to be happy and fulfilled.

Three, spend time with friends and family who support you. Being around them will remind you of the kind of vibration you’re looking to add to your circle. Look to these healthy relationships for evidence of how you are loved and appreciated exactly as you are, with no need to change anything. Approaching online dating (any relationship really) from a place of abundance, connection, and love is infinitely better than coming from lack and desperation. Practice loving yourself and seeing yourself as those who care for you see you. Be positive, open, and expecting good things and that is what you will find, without fail. Even if it looks different than what you anticipated.

Bottom line, remind yourself of your inherent goodness regularly, continue being kind and considerate, notice when you need to ramp up your self-care, and seek supportive connection with your trusted friends and family. It can be fun if you take it at your own pace.

Good luck out there! I’ll share more tips as they come up.


5 Easy Ways to Regain Your Emotional Balance

These days, what’s happening in the world can have you on an emotional roller-coaster. I want to assure you that you’re not alone, and also to offer 5 simple ways to regain your emotional balance.

Photo by blueberry Maki on Unsplash
  1. Breathe. Super basic, right? Except I am talking about that mindful, purposefully deep, breath. Try it! Breathe deeply in through your nose, hold for a few seconds, then blow out slowly and completely through your mouth. Repeat two to three times and notice how much calmer you feel.
  2. Feel your feelings. No matter how messy they are, give yourself permission to feel them. It’s natural to want to bottle up emotions to “deal with later”, but you must feel them to get beyond them. Think of them like a train approaching, getting closer, right in front of you in all of its intensity and power, then speeding away down the tracks into memory.
  3. Tell yourself “of course I felt that way”. Validating your own feelings can help you move on from them. This is about being accepting, so skip trying to minimize them or talk yourself out of them.
  4. Remind yourself that in this moment you are safe. You may even piggy-back this one onto the deep breathing like a mantra. Your fight, flight or freeze reaction will respond to your conscious self-talk that everything really is ok right in this moment.
  5. Notice the things around you. Appreciate the sky, a tree, fresh smells, anything about your surroundings. This will bring you out of your head and into the present moment.

Remember that you are in charge of how you feel. Taking a few moments to choose how to feel puts you back in charge so you can focus on being your best self!

Looking for more in depth ways to thrive as an empath or intuitive? Book a discovery call to see if coaching is for you!

Signs You’re an Empath/Intuitive

Here are some signs you are an empath/intuitive:

  • You feel the emotions of others.
    When you’re with someone, even a perfect stranger, you know how they’re feeling even before they say a word. This means that you may feel sad, panicked, excited, etc. for absolutely no reason at all.  You may notice this more strongly with some people than with others.
  • You can feel the physical aches and pains of others.
    You may notice a soreness or pain without having any reason for feeling it- then you hear a close friend is suffering from the same discomfort.  
  • Strangers open up to you about their lives.  Often with far more detail than you bargained for and within moments of meeting you.
  • You are the go-to person for advice and emotional support in every friend group. You often wonder how that happened.
  • You feel overwhelmed or exhausted from being in large groups of people. Being around a hoard of people experiencing a wide range of emotions in a confined space quickly produces sensory overload.  Maybe you routinely avoid or dread shopping on the weekend or before a holiday.  Alternatively, being at a live performance will create a positive contact high like none other. All of that intense excitement and anticipation can be wonderful!
  • You need your alone time, desperately. Feeling or being aware of the emotions and pains of others is draining, so you need to spend time alone to refuel.  The need for self-care and down-time is greater than for most people, even for extroverted empaths.
  • You are easily moved to tears, even by fictional tv, books, or movies. Since your ability to relate to people is so strong, it’s easy to get sucked in to the emotionally charged situations of fictional characters. Even those on commercials. Raise your hand if you cry easily at commercials, I see you.
  • You are easily overstimulated by multiple sources of information, sound, lights, etc. You may have noticed that you are more bothered by such things than others. You can chalk this up to being highly sensitive.
  • You tend to want to retreat rather than expose yourself to the onslaught of emotions in the public. You have a core group of safe friends and limit contact with others who have “loud” or intense emotions.
  • You know what someone is about to tell you before they say it. Being tuned in to emotions means you are also likely tuned in to thoughts people are formulating, as they are the dominant thoughts of the moment. You’re not weird, you’re empathic/intuitive.
  • You call people and they say “I was just thinking about you.” Thoughts are energy, and energy isn’t limited by distance. See above.
  • You may refer to yourself as clumsy. This is common enough that I’m including it here. Often out of self-protection, you may spend much of your time un-grounded, or somewhat disconnected to your body. This limits your ability to relate well to the physical world around you, which leads to tripping and bumping into things.  The bruises on me recognize and honor the bruises on you. 

So now that you know you’re an empath/intuitive, (you see now how those words describe the same characteristics, right?) what are you going to do?  This is where many people will begin to tell you ways to protect yourself by erecting a virtual wall, creating a bubble, or setting up other barriers to keep the emotions of others at bay. Well, I’m not going to tell you any of that. I’m going to tell you it’s a super power!

A Super Power?

Here at the Divine Energy Collaborative, we know that feeling like you need to protect yourself comes from a place of fear, and that doesn’t give you power, it takes it away. Blocking yourself off may keep you from feeling other people’s stuff, but it also isolates you and limits your ability to feel all of the wonderful emotions as well. Our perspective is that by opening yourself up to the never-ending flow of divine love and light, you remain fully filled to overflowing. With love and light flowing freely out from you, it’s impossible for any negative emotions to stick to you or cause discomfort, and any who need love will find it without taking anything from you. 

We’re all connected, and these connections to each other are vital, now more than ever.  Instead of closing yourself off in fear of how the intense outside emotions will impact you, try opening yourself up to divine love and letting it overflow.  In this way you can walk in confidence and ease and never worry about whether your “shield” is strong enough. Love conquers all.

Once you are filled to overflowing with divine love, it then benefits everyone you come in contact with, and even those you never see. In this way, you can make a positive impact on the world, everyday. I definitely classify this is a super power!!

Interested in more ways to step into your power as an empath? Join us for Empowerment for Empaths and Intuitives. A twice monthly online group to celebrate, manage, and magnify your gifts. Here is a list about how to have more ease as an empath/intuitive that you might want to share with those you love.

Visual Meditation

Visual Meditation Blog

What is a Visual Meditation? Will I be watching someone meditate? Is there going to be lovely vistas to lull me into a calmer state? These may be some of your questions, so I’m going to fill you in not only on what it is, but how it came to be!

Visual Meditation is a brand new (I think) form of meditating. If you have ever heard of or experienced automatic writing, that’s how this came to me but in abstract watercolor images instead of words.

I had an urge from spirit telling me to set up 10 pieces of watercolor paper taped to boards all around the table with my paints, water, spray bottle, flow medium, and my biggest brushes. I had no idea what was coming, but I had the time, so I followed directions and got everything ready.

Half way done!

Once I was set up I took a deep breath, fully connected to spirit, let go of control, and let the fun begin! In just a little over an hour I had 10 paintings completed!! It was clear to me that they were in order, so I took photos to remember their order.

Final one complete, bottom right, still wet!

Next, I shared them with a few close friends and received a little feedback on them. We understood that each image carried its own energetic vibration and together they provoked a sense of calm, peace, and clarity.

The next step was putting them into a powerpoint presentation each with a few words to guide the experience. I added music to one version, and finally a guided meditation to another. Both of those versions are offered here for free.

The combination of the energetic vibration of the images, soothing music, and guided meditation bring you quickly to a place of peacefulness. Each image will soon have its own individual meditation, and a Peace Journal with the whole series of images plus journal prompts is now available too!

watercolor of Mullaghmore inlet in Ireland

Last Ireland Paintings in this Series

Although these 7 paintings complete the 24 piece series I set out to do for my solo shows in March, I don’t feel like I have said, artistically, all I want to say about my trip to Ireland. I feel inspired to paint a few in a looser style and at least a few with pen and ink. I considered doing that with a few of these, but opted to show my typical style throughout the series with lots of detail, high contrast, great texture and rich color. So- stay tuned for another show in late spring. Details about the two venues to see this series in person- and perhaps choose one to enjoy in your space everyday- are at the end of this post. I hope you can join me!

Oh how I love the ocean! The crisp shadows on the rocks and the contrast of the warm sand with the cool mountains and sea were irresistible. The Atlantic is so fierce there. Strandhill Beach, County Sligo. 20″ x 16″ framed $375

This view captured a fantastic crashing wave and the iconic Ben Bulben mountain. I enjoyed creating the softer shadows as the rocks curve towards the sun. Ben Bulben from Strandhill, County Sligo. 20″ x 16″ framed. $375

I began with a lovely stone building from Glenfarne and then added elements from our drive through that area that appealed to me. Almost Autumn, County Leitrim. 11″ x 14″ framed $265

My favorite things: rich color, striking contrast, diagonal lines, interesting textures. What fun I had enhancing the photo from the day! Green and Gold, Mullaghmore Inlet, County Sligo. 16″ x 12″ framed. $285

So much texture and intense color here, it begged to be painted! Gorgeous geraniums and cascading petunias soften the hard stone and brick. Rocks and Blooms, Aghaboy, County Monaghan. 11″ x 14″ framed. $265

This is one of the first scenes I painted. Here I explore it from a different perspective and slightly larger. I loved building up the texture in all of these elements. Weathered Beauty 2, Aghaboy, County Monaghan. 14″ x 11″ framed. $265

Another scene I couldn’t help doing twice. For the last painting in the series, I picked these great stone buildings with the warm glow of the setting sun. Afternoon Glow, Emyvale, County Monaghan. 12″ x 12″ framed $265

To see the full collection live, I hope you’ll join me at one of these venues: March 13 at Stonehill College or March 15-17 at The Irish Cultural Center in Canton, MA Both events are free and for those dates only. Paintings may be purchased prior to the shows, but must be available for display at the shows.

watercolor of Irish stone building with clematis

Continuing the Artistic Irish Journey

I have happily continued to be inspired by my Ireland photos. I have finished the 24 paintings I planned for this series. Below are 7, the rest will follow tomorrow!

I had to do at least one painting of Ben Bulben, which is iconic in County Sligo. The dark almost vertical marks on the side of this mountain are deep crevasses that people hike. Eek! This one is sold.

This is one of those sweet little scenes that was so common to see along my journeys around central Ireland. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a stone wall and all of that lovely dappled sunlight! Autumn Harvest, Aghaboy, County Monaghan. 13″ x 12″ framed, $245

Don’t you just want to knock on that gorgeous blue door? I thought this lovely home was very inviting with its meandering drive flanked by stone walls. The autumn colors and shadows made it impossible not to paint. Irish Welcome, Clones, County Monaghan. 12″ x 16″ framed, $260

This sturdy stone building in Northern Ireland was clearly built to withstand the fierce winds of the region! A lovely purple clematis had taken up residence and the texture and color drew me right in. Enniskillen Stone, County Fermanagh. 14″ x 11″ framed $265

Its a bit funny to think of islands within islands, but here you are! This is Lough Erne and Boa Island. I loved the contrast between the lush greens and the dark water. Boa Island, County Fermanagh. 12″ x 10″ framed $245

On our way into Newgrange, we spotted these thirsty cows surrounded by all of those wonderfully textured greens. This was one of the scenes I couldn’t wait to paint! Bru na Boinne (forgive the lack of fada) Newgrange, County Meath. 20″ x 16″ framed $375

Purplish clouds against yellow leaves and golden grasses compelled me to paint them. The sturdy building graced by a hardy red rose seem to have withstood untold trials, yet here they are in all their splendor. She Persisted, Blacklion, County Cavan. 12″ x 12″ framed $255

watercolor of rainbow over county sligo Ireland

More Ireland Images

I’ve been painting away and have more images to share with you from my trip to Ireland. I will admit that I haven’t been painting them in the order that I saw them. I am putting the county and town as part of their title so you may find the places that are meaningful to you.

watercolor of Tyrone County

Tyrone County View, 12″ x 18″ framed $375

This scene greeted me at the top of a hill while exploring the Ulster American Folk Museum in Omagh.

Dublin Ivy, 11″ x 14″ framed. $275

The two almost hidden pigeons enjoying a protected perch intrigued me. The crazy variety and colors of ivy adorning this weathered door in Dublin city made it irresistible.

watercolor of Castle Mullaghmore in County Sligo Ireland-by Kristi Johnston

Castle Mullaghmore, Co. Sligo. Approx.20″ x 25″ framed. $400

I shot this amazing view quickly after hopping out of the car alongside a VERY winding road. I love how the sheep are just casually in front of the massive castle and oblivious to the sharp cliff.

watercolor of autumn leaves and iron gate in Emyvale, Co. Monaghan Ireland

Autumn Gate, Emyvale, Co. Monaghan. 10″ x 13″ $265

The colors and textures stopped me in my tracks, and I had to try to capture it in paint. This invitation to step in closer embodies the feel of the place and the people.

watercolor of rainbow over county sligo Ireland

Sligo Rainbow, 10″ x 11″ framed $245

It wouldn’t be Ireland if there weren’t rainbows! After a brief downpour, this one dazzled me on our ride from Sligo and Strandhill. The colors danced in and out of view and played peek-a-boo with the mountains.

More are coming! These are available for sale unless otherwise marked with the caveat that they be available for the upcoming shows March 13-17, 2019. Contact me at to purchase.